


remember?

by PsychicBananaSplit



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Amazing, Amnesia, Assisted Suicide, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Emotional Manipulation, Forgetting, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Memory Loss, Real short, Short One Shot, Suicidal Thoughts, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, fjdksjfdk, short fic, toxic positivity, wilbur's just struggling, with some stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:47:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28139430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychicBananaSplit/pseuds/PsychicBananaSplit
Summary: Wilbur’s memories are fleeting, large chunks just- gone. Some things he remembers.Some things, he does not.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 3
Kudos: 71





	remember?

Wilbur wakes up in the forest.

_ Waking up  _ isn’t the right way to put it, really - he still feels like he’s sleeping. Like he’s floating in water, almost. His head is fuzzy, filled with cotton, he can’t hear much. 

He can’t feel the grass.

_ What does grass even feel like? _

He opens his eyes.  _ Shouldn’t I know what grass feels like? _ Wilbur’s head is filled with cotton, something soft, and the pressure behind his ears hurts. He sits up too fast and closes his eyes at the spinning, oh, dear  _ god the spinning.  _

_ Shouldn’t he know what the grass feels like? _

_ What on Earth is- _

_ -going on? _

Wilbur’s standing in-  _ L’Manberg? That’s what it’s called, right?  _ -and it’s raining. He hates the rain. It makes him sad, turns him into static, makes him fade away. Not that anyone sees him. Does anyone see him? Maybe he’ll visit- visit- the nice young man with the brown hair and the patchwork of scars across his face, the one with- with- with the bees! What’s his name-  _ what’s his name again?- _

“-get in the boat, Tommy.”

It’s raining, and Wilbur sees Dream-  _ Dream?-  _ donned in his forest-green tunic and his blank-faced mask, with a glimmering sword in his holster-  _ why is it shining that looks so cool-  _ but he’s shoving and kicking some poor man, boy, really, small and too-young and-  _ he’s too young to go to war- _

“Tommy?” He blurts, and then wonders why he said that, he doesn’t- he doesn’t recognize him. But he does. He’s  _ Tommy.  _ Tommy-  _ who’s Tommy? _

The boy-  _ Tommy?-  _ is trying to get up from his knees and his trousers are soaked in mud, but Dream keeps knocking him back down and almost taunting him, just telling him to  _ get in the boat. Get in the boat, Tommy. _

_ Tommy? _

The boy turns to Wilbur and- his  _ eyes, he knows him from somewhere-  _ and he says-

_ Wilbur, are you okay? _

“-Wil?”

Dream-  _ Dream?-  _ turns to where Wilbur is, and asks, “What the fuck are you looking at, just  _ get in the boat.” _

All the life fades from Tommy’s eyes, and he complies. 

He gets in the boat.

Wilbur follows him.

Because he can’t just leave this person who- who can  _ see him.  _ Tommy sees him and he doesn’t know how or why, but he can, and no one else can- not the mousy boy with the bees, or the fox-man, or  _ Dream-  _ but-

_ Tommy  _ can.

Maybe- maybe he can remember him.

_ Where the fuck- _

_ -did you go? _

“Where did you go?”

Wilbur and- Tommy, right?- they’re the  _ Lads on Tour.  _ They’re staying in a tent by the sea and it’s beautiful and- and- 

Tommy gives him a look that he doesn’t- Wilbur doesn’t really know what it means, exactly. Usually he can see what Tommy’s feeling just by looking at him but this is a new look and he doesn’t know what it means, it’s a new one. Tommy gives him this strange look, “I went mining, remember? We- we just came back from mining, Wilbur.”

And Wilbur kinda wants to yell at him-  _ no he doesn’t remember, I can’t remember, I can’t fucking remember Tommy I-  _ but as soon as he gets angry he forgets why he was angry in the first place. 

Instead of answering, he smiles, digs in his pockets for some blue- Tommy  _ loves  _ blue, they both love blue- and offers it to him. 

“You want some blue, Tommy?”

_ It is Tommy, right? _

The strange look on Tommy’s face is overlapped with a smile and he accepts it, stuffing it in an already blue-filled pocket. 

_ Why can’t he- _

_ -remember? _

Why can’t he remember?

There’s a song- he knows there’s a song, sometimes he finds himself humming it without really knowing and Tommy- Tommy gets angry at him, he gets mad and tells him to stop singing but-

Wilbur doesn’t think Tommy’s ever really angry at him, he just thinks sometimes he gets really, really sad. Dream visits and makes him happier, makes him smile and laugh more, but afterwards Dream makes Tommy drop his clothes and his food and his wood and- his everything, really, and blows it all up. 

The ground under their small tent by the sea is unsteady, hollow and caving in, the crater under their feet just ready to give out completely.

But there’s a song in his head and he can’t quite figure it out.

_ Why can’t he- _

_ -remember? _

He has dreams, sometimes. Not dreams with Dream in them- sometimes he does, but they’re not very good dreams. 

But sometimes he sees what maybe, maybe his memories? 

Tommy and Dream, Dream isn’t very nice- but there’s  _ Tubbo  _ and  _ Fundy  _ and  _ Niki  _ and all these other characters, all these other faces, some he tries to grasp onto and some he just lets fade away- he knows he has brothers but he doesn’t recall what they look like, just that they were young and loud and he never was that way, Wilbur was never a loud child, and that’s why his father liked him the  _ best,  _ he was his father’s favorite child-

-his father-

_ Phil- _

_ Kill me, Phil.  _

His dreams aren’t ever good ones.

So he forgets. 

And he forgets and forgets and forgets, he lets go and lets go some more-

Maybe he’s losing part of himself with his memories.

Maybe he always has been.

_ Why can’t I remember? _

_ Why can’t I forget? _

_ Why can’t I- _

_ -remember? _

Remember, Tommy?

_ Tommy? _

He’s on a boat with a sheep-  _ blue,  _ blue sheep! Blue, blue makes him happy- but he’s on a boat with the sheep and a scary pig man, he has long hair-  _ pink,  _ pink hair- that tickles his mind like he should know this person but he doesn’t. He doesn’t remember this person so he doesn’t worry about it. It’s stopped being a question he should ask. 

He’s on a boat with his blue sheep and the pig man and the nice boy with the bees-  _ Tubbo,  _ his mind supplies- but his mind doesn’t supply very much. The nice boy with the bees, that’s who he is. The bee boy and a few of his friends who are acting- acting real  _ scary. _

It’s cold.

It’s winter, of course- the cold waves of the water lap up to the wood of the boat in small, lolling waves, and the chill of the air almost blows right past him, right through him, it’s really cold but he’s wearing a-

A coat. Whatever color it is, he doesn’t know the word for it.

_ Yellow?  _ He’s never heard that word before-  _ did he just make up a color?  _ Wow!

The boat turns around the corner of an island, past the trees and the dirt and in the distance there’s a- a lot of fire and light and-

“-is that Logstedshire?-”

Wilbur’s question goes unanswered, and he doesn’t remember what a  _ Logstedshire  _ even is, but he does know that he feels-

He feels-

He feels something?

He doesn’t remember. 

_ Where’s Tommy? _

_ Who’s Tommy? _

_ Why can’t he remember? _


End file.
